Monologues – Page 3

February 12, 2009

Auditioned for A Sunday Afternoon at Loemann’s

Arrived yesterday for my audition with my headshots, but without a resume. I don’t have a printer set up at home at the moment. I had intended to print a resume at work and completely forgot. Things were off to a bad start.

On the bright side, Takara Upshaw was there. Takara and I were in Heidi together way back in 20o7. It was nice to see her again.

So as I am trying to remember what I have done and put a quick resume together on the back of the audition form, I was called in. They had an electronic copy of my resume I had sent them before, but not printed out. Nice of them not to worry about it, but they could not as any questions about any items on the resume with out it. They may have found something impressive on it just by holding it.

As far as who “they” were: Austin Snipes and well I did not catch the name of the casting person. Shame on me.

The first question: “What are you doing?’ My mind went blank, I could not remember what monologues I was doing. Even forgot I had them in my blazer pocket.

“OK. Not a problem. Please proceed.” So I start into my first monologue: Degas, C’sest Moi. Amazingly I did not flub over this one as nervous as I was. At the finish of this one, I paused, stepped aside for just a moment to get into character for the second monologue: Marty. This one I flubbed, badly.

My mind just went blank and I couldn’t call for line. After that fiasco, we discussed my headshots for a while. They liked them very much. Pleased about that.

As I was leaving, I ran into Lory Cox. We were in Barefoot in the Park last year. She was great. Maybe we will be working together again.

February 11, 2009February 12, 2009

What I Did On 2009-02-11

@the_brian_jones What I plan today is hiring you to do my house. in reply to the_brian_jones #
What is the best pre-audition food? #
RT @StoutT: Best pre-audition food? BEANS!!!!!! Try to do a whole monologue without using your mouth! 🙂 <- OMG that is funny. #
Love these Fire Twizzlers – cinnamon goodness. #
Beginning to get a little nervous for my audition at 5PM-EST. I don’t get nervous (much) on stage, mainly for auditions. #
This afternoon: Audition for “A Sunday Afternoon at Loemann’s” and then to rehearsal for “One Flew Over the Cookoo’s Nest”. #
I tucked my shirt in and suddenly everybody want to know what is going on. Well, I am off to audition. Hope I remember my two monologues. #

February 4, 2009April 29, 2009

Marty

Film: Marty
Author: Paddy Chayefsky
Role: Marty Piletti
Age: 35 – 45
Style: Dramatic
Time: 1:15

Ma, when are you going to give up? You gotta bachelor on your hands. I ain’t never gonna get married. Sooner or later, there comes a point in a man’s life when he gotta face some facts, and one fact I gotta face is that whatever it is that women like, I ain’t got it. I chased enough girls in my life. I went to enough dances. I got hurt enough. I don’t wanna get hurt no more.

I just called a girl this afternoon, and I got a real brush-off, boy. I figured I was past the point of being hurt, but that hurt. Some stupid woman who I didn’t even want to call up. She gave me the brush. That’s the history of my life.

Ma, whaddaya want from me?! Whaddaya want from me?! I’m miserable enough as it is! I don’t wanna go to the Waverly Ballroom, because all that ever happened to me there was girls made me feel like I was a bug. And you know what I got for my trouble? Heartache! A big night of Heartache! I got feelings, you know. I had enough pain. No, thank you. Ma, I’m gonna stay home and watch Sid Ceasar.

Edited: 50 Seconds
Ma, when are you going to give up? You gotta bachelor on your hands. Sooner or later, there comes a point in a man’s life when he gotta face some facts. I chased enough girls in my life. I got hurt enough. I just called a girl this afternoon, and I got a real brush-off, boy. I figured I was past the point of being hurt, but that hurt. Some stupid woman who I didn’t even want to call up. She gave me the brush. Ma, whaddaya want from me?! I’m miserable enough as it is! I don’t wanna go to the Waverly Ballroom, because all that ever happened to me there was girls made me feel like I was a bug. And you know what I got for my trouble? A big night of Heartache! I got feelings, you know. I had enough pain. No, thank you. Ma, I’m gonna stay home and watch Sid Ceasar.

February 4, 2009April 29, 2009

Degas, C’est Moi

Play: Degas, C’est Moi
Author: David Ives
Role: Ed
Age: 30 – 50
Style: Comedic
Time:

A stroke of genius. I decide to be Degas for a day. Why Degas? Well why not Degas? Pourquoi pas Degas? Maybe the prismatic bars of color on my ceiling have inspired me. Maybe it’s all the cheap French wine I’ve been drinking.

Okay, so I don’t know much about Degas. Let’s See. Dead, French, impressionist painter of ballerinas, flowers, that kinda thing. And okay granted, I’m not French, dead or a painter of any kind. And yet – are Degas and I not united by our shared humanity? By our common need for love, coffee, deodorant?

This is wonderful! In the bathroom, the very porcelain pullulates with possibilities. Will you look at the luster of that toilet? In the shower, it feels strange, lathering an immortal. What’s even stranger, the immortal is lathering back.

How did I become such a genius? I, who flunked workshop in high school? Was it my traumatic childhood? Did I have a traumatic childhood? Well something must have happened. Because now I’m great. I’m brilliant. My name will live forever! Gone the dreary daily déjà vu. Today – Degas vu.

EDITED: 50 Seconds.
A stroke of genius. I decide to be Degas for a day. Why Degas? Well why not Degas? Pourquoi pas Degas?

Okay, so I don’t know much about Degas. Let’s See. Dead, French, impressionist painter of ballerinas. And okay granted, I’m not French, dead or a painter of any kind. And yet – are Degas and I not united by our shared humanity? By our common need for love, coffee, deodorant?

How did I become such a genius? I, who flunked workshop in high school? Was it my traumatic childhood? Did I have a traumatic childhood? Well something must have happened. Because now I’m brilliant. My name will live forever! Gone the dreary daily déjà vu. Today – Degas vu.

January 21, 2009April 29, 2009

I Ought To Be In Pictures

By Neil Simon

Neil Simon Monologues (ISBN: 0-940669-34-X)

HERB: Wait a minutes, you! You just listen to me a minute. I never figures I had anything coming to me. I gave you up, that was my loss. I left that house because if I had stayed it would have turned into a war zone and there would have been no survivors. You want to talk about guilts, regrets – I got enough to fill up my garage. But that’s my business and I’ll handle it my own way. I never expected anything from you or your brother. Outside this house, you can call me any goddamn thing you want to call me. But under this roof is my domain, and if you talk to me, you show me some respect.

HERB: Okay! For the sake of argument, let us say someone looks at the card. Someone is looking for a valet service for his son’s bar mitzvah. Someone just met a girl at the party and wants to write down her number. Someone has a piece of spare rib in his teeth and is trying to pick it out with the card. Only a small percentage of that group will look at the back of the card. But let’s say one does. He sees, “Libby Tucker, New York trained actress – No Part Is Too Big or Too Small.” Do you imagine he’s going to slam his foot on the break, pull off the road and, say to his wife, “That’s exactly what I’m looking for. An actress trained in New York who doesn’t care if the part is too big or too small. Right under my nose in my very own car. What a break for me. I’ll contact her first thing in the morning and hope and pray that someone else with spare ribs in their teeth didn’t get to her before me!”